I Can't Do This
i have gotten all of my problems thrown in to my face.
i have been told i fucked up i am a disgrace.
i am not worth anybody’s time.
not really worth this next rhyme.
made myself suicidal and depressed.
after peoples feelings were expressed.
taking one more step closer to the door.
while my heart lays restless on the floor.
i was too codependent on another.
and no matter what i can’t have her.
not at least for a long time.
so i sit down and write another useless rhyme.
this girl held all of my feelings and my heart.
now we must be separated and torn apart.
people tell me to get m head on straight.
but not out of love but out of a sign of hate.
for me this is an never ending night mare.
and nobody to wake me up with no despair.
the only one is kept from me so we can learn.
and if want anything that i must earn.
i have ruined everything i had going for me.
and she is still all i am able to see.
but not here but only in mind where she is happy.
and i have become to be very angry and slightly snappy.
i listen to the songs of ours from our past.
they hold me together for a while but the feelings never last.
i already miss holding her and telling her shes perfect.
and the only reason i cant is because i disrespect.
the wishes of the ones who have authority above my feelings.
but i was selfish with the way i acted and with my dealings.
(2014)
i can't stand being myself anymore. i can't deal with my unreasonable actions. and i have grown to hate myself.
