Holding It In
i keep my mouth shut while i get yelled at. holding my feelings in until i get here. i turn on a relaxing song and breathe. i never fought back in arguments. i never apologize. i just let them finish what they need to say. they sometimes break me down. make me want to inflict my physical health. but i hold it all in. praying to god it will be over soon. i don’t tell my parents my problems. they always use them against me. they never help me just hurt me. but beg me to talk to them. but it hurts to speak about my problems. so i hold it all inside until i get here. to this page. to these words that will keep me sane for just a little bit longer. i don’t know what to do anymore. the one i told my problems is kept from me. she never judged me. she never told me i was a fuck up. she was just there for me. so until i find someone i can speak to i will hold them inside. and pray to god they come soon.
(2014)
