How it feels
I’m just a girl trying to make it in this big world.
Constantly fearing people are going to leave me.
Always afraid to get to close, but longing for that connection.
I degrade myself worse then my enemy.
I act impulsively to acceptance and hold on to it for dear life.
My emotions run wild like a rollercoaster.
Just when you think your leveling out, you come across another turn.
I look in the mirror and hate what I see, I get so angry I could scream.
All of a sudden like a wave it hits you, uncontrollable amounts of emotions and feelings.
It all seems unbearable, everything is so extreme.
You act on every impulse just to know your alive.
Never worrying about the outcome just about the feelings your trying to dodge.
When the darkness of the night comes so does the darkness of the mind.
You can’t help but feeling giving up.
You know something is wrong and your not like everyone else.
You grab the razor to ease the pain.
You start with one, and say just this one time.
Until you do it over and over again.
More and more each time, deeper with every fresh line.
All these emotions of emptiness, abandonment, poor self image.
This is what its like to be living with Borderline Personality Disorder.
I wish you could spend a day in my shoes
So I could show you how it feels to have someone walk away
But, in the end you would get to go back to being you
And I would still be stuck in my skin
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