The Bumblebee A tubby, grumbling matron, Concerned alone with duty, Fusses among the roses, Oblivious to beauty.

My Last Trophy-Wife (Apologies to Robert Browning) That photo of my ex there on the… Is one I took before we split las… Yeah, people always ask me how I…

“St. Chris’s statue on my dash Will surely keep me safe,” he said… But then one day he struck a pole And hit the dashboard with his hea… Oh, woe! Six-inch St. Christophe…

Concealed, disguised, deceptively… These mists are slowly cleared by… Across a playground, thrilling tru… Or theorized through older sibling… Of differences beneath the corduro…

System Restore I punched one day a strange comput… That spawned an endless lunatic pa… Across the screen of visual debris That I could not remove, still wo…

The Computer Cometh A shiny joint is rasped across the… And swiftly followed by a bulging… And other irridescent joints that… Themselves across with creaks and…

I hate the callow ones who think t… And have therefore the right to cr… I hate the ones who charge me twen… So I can try to win a ten-buck pr… I hate the ones whom you will irri…

Now, the fathers, having suffered… prospering, gave unto their begotten plowshare… seeds that their begotten might also pro…

On the podium the sternest of tyra… Yet a dead one’s manic puppet, Claiming now inspired compliance. His baton a thrashing rapier, Forcing eyes to see the fire

Postscript for the Statue of Libe… Oh, say, you huddled masses, when… My golden shores, you must at once… Remove your greasy ball cap, beat… From all your rags, and curb the “…

Slow cooking is the wisest way: Avoid inclusion of exotics till you know their flavor fits. Ingredients from Eastern lands, are never easy to digest,

Give Me That Old-Time Religion As one New Yorker said, the guy w… You in New York, your wallet as h… At least has goals, unlike the oth… Who kill and maim and have no aim…

The meter of this poem will be like ticks of a clock — no, I mean, ticks of clocks. On contemplation of my navel I see only what appears to be

I hate Shaw with his absurd postu… who want to get in his pants to ca… I hate Henry James for writing se… it takes a cryptologist to figure… I hate Hemingway for his drunken…