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Donal Mahoney

Donal Mahoney

Wives and Girl Friends

A good reason to get married,
Tim told me before he died,
is you need a driver to take you
 
home from a colonoscopy.
When cancer runs in the family
and three relatives have had it
 
colonoscopies become frequent.
You get used to drinking the potion
the day before the exam but
 
depending on the test results
you may get the same day,
driving yourself home isn’t
 
the wisest thing to do
no matter how long you may live.
A wife will take you home, Tim said.
 
A girlfriend might do it once
but then she will find someone else.
Tim had reasons to know.
 
Donal Mahoney

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Otras obras de Donal Mahoney...
Getting Everything Done

When Molly and Tim got married they spent hours talking about everything they had to get done. And indeed they got a lot done. Now their kids have families
A Farmer Goes to the Big City

Six men were sitting at the table in the Day Room, as they call it, at the Whitehall Rest Home. They were playing poker and they had a newcomer in their midst. It was Bill, a retired fa...
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A Relocation Problem

We’ve moved my wife and I from home to the last place we’ll ever live and she wants to know why
Women Without Exception

The older I get the more beautiful they are without exception Donal Mahoney
Comic Books and Candy

Fred brought his old comic books and some hard candy to a food pant… and didn’t think much about it. Just a different kind of donation. Maybe somebody would want them.
 1
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Parachutes

First leaves of autumn. Slow parachutes this morning almost at the curb. Donal Mahoney
A Drop-Off Problem

We have a drop-off problem in Ame… We must decide which restroom one can use when nature beckons. So far, tumult reigns among the pe… If we declare both genders equal
Eternity in Global Warming

A clerk in a health food store became upset when I said I didn’t see anything I wanted since I wasn’t a vegan or vegetarian and liked my
Another Christmas Alone

Widow in a rocker pets her calico cat long strokes slowly. With the cat purring and the widow humming
Black Butterfly

There never was anyone like Ali between the ropes or facing the public. In the ring and out
Absentee Ballot

The Sixties almost killed Will, a wasted man who sobered up long enough to vote for JFK. And he’d have voted for RFK if he hadn’t been killed as well.
Little Cartons, Little Sacks

The mug of tea I drank at dawn, the tea that drove me to the train needs a refill.
Bears Starving in the Woods

Long article in the paper this morning stops Tim from gobbling his bacon and eggs. Bears are starving in the woods. Too many cubs, too little food.
Strangers in Peoria

I met a proper woman in a proper p… on a Monday in Peoria. I was take… she looked like Jackie after Dall… but without the pillbox hat. She was from New York and I was…
A Modern Fairy Tale: Trumpelstiltskin

Trumpelstiltskin is a fairy tale not written by the Brothers Grimm… It’s written every day by Fox and… America hears it every hour and half the nation loves it



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