It's Not That Hard To Find A Keanu
——-It’s Not That Hard To Find A Keanu—————
Copyright by Dan L. Murphy
TheDuck.com / DLMcomics
The other day I was watching 47 Ronin... I don’t
know how far in it was, but it was during the flashback
of Keanu Reeves’ character when he was just a normal,
average, little white samurai boy. And to be honest, they
could have just continued using this boy as the older Keanu
and I wouldn’t have noticed...
But, anywaaay...
I was like “WOW, that kid looks JUST like a younger Keanu!”
Then I was like “Who did the casting in this!? Great job!”
But, then I thought about those big, doe eyes and
silky hair, and other super-distinct features, and THEN
I was like “It’s not THAT hard to find a Keanu...”
——-
Yeah, it’s not that hard to find a Keanu...
Look left and right, might be right behind you
And, if you’re makin’ a movie... just do what I do!
Black hair, black eyes, black suit... Keanu!
Constantine: decent movie, but the acting: obscene
It’s like Bill left Ted... at excellent Speed
And if you need a stunt double... just do what I do!
Black hair, black eyes, black suit... Keanu!
Yeah, it’s not that hard to find a Keanu...
Look left and right, might be one behind you
And, if you’re makin’ a movie... any look-a-like will do!
Black hair, black eyes, black suit... Keanu!
He’s “The One”, alright... yeah, one of many...
Bunch of bobble-heads... so you can really pick any
It’s an attack of the clones... and any one will do!
Black hair, black eyes, black suit... Keanu!
I’m scanning darkly... until I see...
Yep! There’s twenty-three in the vicinity!
They crowd around me... zombies sayin’ “Duuude!”
Black hair, black eyes, black suit... Keanu!
So, look up and down... there’s probably ten around...'cause
It’s not that hard to find a Keanu...
Look left and right, might be right behind you
And, if you’re makin’ a movie... just do what I do!
Black hair, black eyes, black suit... Keanu!
——-
Oh yeah, also... while on the set of Bram Stoker’s Dracula,
Gary Oldman was rehearsing lines (for the first dinner-table scene)
with a STUNT DOUBLE!!! There’s no action in this scene, man...
I mean HELLOOOO... I guess the stunt double didn’t mind. I’m sure
there was a crowd of them, anyway. I mean, it’s Gary freakin’
Oldman, ya know? With a butt-shaped wig...
So, anyway, where was I?
Oh, yeah... So, I was comparing the masks that they used in
Point Break, and I was like “Now it REALLY doesn’t matter
who you cast as Keanu! I mean, with the masks and everything?
Get it?...Hello...? Anyone still reading this??
THEN, I learned that Keanu’s first name stands for
”Cool breeze over the mountains"...which is ok I guess,
but on the next Keanu they should call him “Ultimate Dragon Overlord”
or something...
I think I’ll change the title to:
“It’s not that hard to find a cool breeze over the mountains”
Hello?? Anyone...???
Anyone out there?...Helloooo......
...
If you’re a Keanu please respond...
