Always Love
To My Texas, I lost you but I love you
I have always loved him, I think I knew it this entire time but I never had the courage to admit it.
I let others get in the way.
The voices, the whispers, the doubts, and the judgment.
But I love him.
I need him.
There is so much of me that he knows, the parts I dare to share or say out loud.
He gets it. He listens to it and worries about my worry.
He takes it on as his own and he is not even standing next to me.
That’s the doubt.
He is so far, so out of my reach and gone from my side.
I want him here but when he is here it is not the same.
I want him next to me but everything changes when we are together.
We are different, but similar.
Our goals are not always together but he is always there to say he wants for me what I want.
And God do I want him.
But everything was so different when he was next to me, down the hall, or in my arms.
The tears rolled down easily and the rumors swallowed my ears.
For us, distance is the best thing; it gives me my heart and my mind.
Together, we are there, but something is still not there.
