Abnormality
By: Ezekiel Gonzales
Skipping to the beat of abnormality,
I take charge through my dog days in search for something
that will reveal me
Show what has been hidden under dirt-infested linen,
gaining a taste for what the others own,
find the beauty within this pain
Chasing a butterfly through the rain—shedding old skin—
dropping to a desolate field
Craving the unimaginable, fighting against my restraints,
I will find abnormality
I walk through the crowd and find my steps in theirs– the commoner
Blending with class; receiving A’s and chickening out in turn
Taking change for something desirable
Shed my clothes for them to see every bit of me
Dipped in chocolate, they will crave for me
A someone above the people, a puppeteer, my strings have withered and ripped straight through me
A purpose far greater than the ones I dreamt of
Broken shards from the mirror, from a reflection of normality
I’ll rip my hair,
I’ll peel my eyes,
I’ll scream to the people,
“Look at me now, look at me now,
I have risen from my chrysalis and spread my wings”
The things I will be, the pedestal I have reached
Take to the sky, going to fly
I have been reborn to a new me– I shall no longer rely on the wind of normality
The ties no longer bind, seeking another me
Soft whimpers and gentle kisses
Sin breathes in to my lungs
Greedy, hungry little bugs fester and conjure the most beautiful things
Taste how I feel,
Smell the colors,
See what the light leads,
Hear my moans of disregard
When the time comes, I’ll shred my clothes and bathe
Screw such normalcy, fuck what’s right
Let my voice bounce through skulls
Fill the emptiness
Bring forth the dreaded abyss
Show me what it feels like to become a new
Go crazy, go crazy, go crazy, GO CRAZY, GO CRAZY, GO CRAZY
I’ll use these shards to cut and paste
A blank slate, an unopened document
What do you wonder?
Pinning for a loveless lover, twisting the braids of my hair
Naked and bare in front of the masses
I’ll shower in praise as I dance for the crowd
Electric currents seize my brain– I’ll foam at the mouth
I’ll change my name, change the game
Shoving the abnormal in to my body
Creating a butterfly from this useless chrysalis
Jumping from the roof
A stain among the dirtied ground
Dull,
The stain will spread, this stain– my stain
Eat the ones that stay and create a wonderland
I’ll be the Hatter
Fuck me raw, make me bleed
Show me what a pleasure life is
I’ll take the gamble and bet my all
Take your eyes off me– take– don’t–
What is the meaning of this; telling me to go?
I have become the one you wished for
A star among the endless night sky
A diamond among jewels
A slave to the normal
I’ll eat the dirt, lick your shoes, all of me is yours
What do you wish?
What do you crave?
What am I–
Take me through strange worlds
Your rocket ship is vast and void
Stomping like the child I am
I bound through the floors
Eagerness, attentive, alert, excited–
Dread
My wings spread far and wide yet no one sees
No one bares witness to the sight before them
I’ll count my breaths, 1, 2, 3
Let the wisps of the ordinary flow out my holes
To drench the things I see
Bid farewell to the ghost of yesterday and embrace the cold of today
Shake off the snow, and breathe in the————
Twisting my neck around, viewing in three-sixty
I’ll see what I need
All the things that will be, things that shall be, and what is mine
Let’s fuck to the rhythm of abnormality
Let my body shake for all to see, all the naked things
Shoving my things out the door, emptying the cabinets
Letting the cushions suffocate and imprison
Static blinds my sight– reaching through the dark
Shut up and tell me what I am-!
The perfect girl– the beauty of your eye
A sight for the unholy to gaze at
Feel their hands roam and wander, this I allow
What does it feel like—
A cave has collapsed and out I have forged
The dirt of them all messes with my senses
Go with the beat, 1, 2, 3
Have I completed my goal, a new me?
“Hey, what do you say,”
