The Un-said
oh the veritable horror of being greatly misunderstood....and seen in a way thats not accurate in any form...ah to be human...let us write about it shall we?
all should know now
that I still feel the same
that I still hear the same
still do the same as I ever did
call it the same name
stuck in the same frame
it does not just go away
true it may go from black to gray
but in a way
I still think the same
still hear the same
and its such a shame
id like to douse the flame
but its no trouble
I just feel the same.
plain to pain
so many ways yet just stay
silent
to be misunderstood so many ways
it would give one no gain
telling the truth would not set me free
so silent ill stay
one would never see
as one never saw me
correctly
but what use would it be
to say the truth
so in this ill stay
no in feeling ill never stray
but ill still stay
silent
and it is so hard to stay so
hard to let it show
what was really supposed to be relayed
promised it was not
not what was thought
that there was never a plot
but what good would it be to reveal
anything now
a confused mind hazy offers only confusion
and now the clear mind would never risk the intrusion
yes I still feel the same
its all the same game
stuck in the same frame
and its such a shame
and no ones to blame
except myself
that nothing is ever revealed
correctly
I was never who one thought I was,
I held disdain
but now I only claim
that all
is greatly misunderstood.
and no one here is to blame
except myself
who could not express lightly
all that one tried to fight
was accidentally bled out in a haze
I apologize
wether understood or never believed
never was I attempting to ignite a flame
that was never there
I was merely attempting to fix what had broken
the crime was that I had spoken
anything to begin with
and I realized that crime so long ago
and every single moment it was felt I sinned
it was only me again and again
trying to fix what ever had been
offensive to begin
with.
and yet not once believed was this.
so what if its inside there?
no never guessed
or assumed or attempted
never dared
and never was ever to do so.
I seek only to be real
to understand that which makes most still
it is no lie that there was situations to be reckoned with
and amended
and all thats its ever taken are a few words of truth
but words are actions for far too many
and so will and shall I simply disappear?
yes
for I only ever mean well
and it was muddled by fog and fear
and never once is that believed.
all should try sometime staying amiable if it was flipped
how does one not feel resentment?
words in my world are never attempts
people differ so greatly in this
a truth lay buried now in the abyss
it was difficult to relent
when things were not what they seemed
but at this point whats the point of being redeemed
doubtful that more could be so misunderstood?
not likely
all was carried out so wrong
yes to be given benefit of the doubt
would have helped this along
but no
no matter how benign it was always seen wrong
forgive I know not how not to be real
I live in a world of words not actions
to know that now how wrong was it to say what I feel
and that thought was never an action
that words are simply words
my freedom lay in speech never in deed
to have ones freedom twisted into the vile
is not a thing ill again ever abide
place after place and mile after mile
still the fault seems to be always mine
every time
and one was only doing what one should
I hold no grudge.
but I do so begrudge
that Im never this idea held so in mind.
that the opposite was believed of what was said
that anything bled
might have been there
perhaps
but better to leave unsaid
such ideas Ill never shed
while it is so possible to feel the same as ever
what use is it to try to exalt one dead?
and if seen forever as this immoral symbol of wrong
ill simply not confide and let be.
even though the desire to rectify is so selfishly strong
I was not believed then so how now could I be?
ill simply go on and try so hard to forget
that I was seen in a way that was never ever me.
too many times do I figuratively hang myself and find I’m unable to set myself free.
I’m too often my own worst enemy
self destruction and darkness are a pastime that so often disagrees
with the buried innocence and naivety
that glows inside of me
my dualities
will surely be the death of me.
—C.R.S
ill probably add a few more verses to this eventually...because of it vagueness ill explain a bit of this poem....it just came upon me the other day while thinking of how many times ive portrayed myself in a way that isnt understood in the way it was meant to be...this is nothing special or pretty as far as poetry goes..but interesting in a way... but yes this topics for me literally happens too often...makes me wonder whats wrong with me...owell ill just write about it....I actually really like this...its so differently written than anything I've written before...not only in style but in subject...very vague and yet at the same time it should be familiar...style wise its so choppy and then some “breaths” aka lines are only one word ...its meant to have a breath between the lines...anyways...this is about just getting yourself into stuff you never mean to be in ...its about causing trouble you didnt even know you were causing until its too late....about being misunderstood..through no ones fault but my own...i know this well...and somehow never learn...im too open and too raw about everything around me...and when others are not i get into trouble...even though almost every time or...most times...when I was younger I was more inclined to know what trouble i was causing but as Ive grown i really just do not ever see it coming... i never have any inkling of causing trouble...because I hate causing it...this is a mix of all the times I've had this happen...idk this is super different and written so differently...i like it for this reason.... everyone at some point in their lives have been grossly misunderstood...and i normally always MUST fix it ...however ...sometimes its better just to drop it...the layers of misunderstanding and confused motivations are just too many...so i just sacrifice my image to help others just be at peace and forget it....besides its purely a prideful reason that I ever want to go back and fix it anyways...so I try most the time to practice dealing with the image of me accepted as fact and I just move on and try to live with it...its hard ..but its purely pride wanting to fix it...better for all to just slink away...i found that most folk in the past have hated explanations if they dont fit with their set ideas of the situation...so ...whoever is wrong can be wrong and whoever thinks they are right can be right..... and yes there is absolutely a humor to the poem ..its probably pretty easy to misunderstand me...the BF always tells me that and for me to be careful with how free I am about things... I never listen..so i mistake peoples idealism to mirror my own..which is selfish in itself....and this is not the case..that openness is easily mistaken for something else... but yes this all came out after realizing all this..i cringe at the number of events throughout my life that inspired this....some more than others ...some verses are about the recent ...others about far back in the past...but really its all the same feelings and frustrations that surround such events....when correcting would only invite more misunderstandings...I wont even count out the numerous events.....hm ...rather long note section...shrug...
#confusions #criminally #deaf #guilt #misunderstood #shame #your misunderstood to reason move
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