Lost in my own guilt …. Don’t know any more what limits to abide by.. what I should tolerate from you because I deserve it and what I shouldn’t because well as everybody keeps saying were human and we make mistakes… but even so deep down in me I want to get at myself…for letting you down even if in our time we both failed at some point… I crossed the line… and still here you are wanting to be with me ….. but still wanting to explore as well… or so it seems.. and I can’t and will not be okay with that even if I may in fact deserve it… because all I ever wanted was all of you… entirely ..Completely.. Unconditionally… and I still want you in all these ways. and im afraid I may have lost that right… so here you are making me have faith and hope that we still can conquer anything with our love but yet so quickly taking it right under my feet … or at least that’s how it feels … and the coward of me cant even tell you how I feel cause quite sure you’d find some justification to my feelings.. Making them nothing more than thoughts .. so here I am confiding in the only thing that allows me to express my feelings… and gives me some form of release… you my dear poetry…
I should be talking to you…but my stubbornness gets the best of me … smh… need to put an end to this if we are going to make this work but I don’t know if you really want to be with me… if your entertaining other people… still… foolish of me to think we are moving to better place when in reality where right where we began… maybe nothing I do will be good enough for you.. good enough to make you come back to me completely.. I mean who tells me to get into a situation have no experience with? smh… I don’t know what to do most the time to make this right but I still try… even if I failed when I shouldn’t of…ill do anything I can to make it up to you … just hope it will all be worth it … and that you truly give us a chance… me and you… not me you and whoever else… just you and I… like it should have been all along…