i buried my childhood in a cardboa… i wrapped it up in a stained white… it’s sitting in my old backyard, s… it’s really sad when i think about… so i just don’t

sit across from me, with no space in between. chest again chest, and our legs folded awkwardly. wrap your arms around my neck,

aren’t we all just lambs in a slau… we’re madmen given knives and rope… god is a sadist, but he doesn’t wa… i don’t hide from god, i hide from you.

i gave you open front doors, swing… i left you out in my backyard with… it’s not my fault you stayed like… i screamed your name over a coal e… standing in the middle of the trai…

but i don’t think you were ever built to be a mother, and i never learned how to love you without it burning me from the inside out. i was raised to trust you through every betrayal and...

when i told you i was crazy, i was… that there was your warning, but y… you don’t have enough heartbreak i… i’ll fix that for you, free of cha… “a penchant for manipulation,”

it’s embarrassing but, god i love, love, love you i’ll swear on everything i own, and everything i’ve ever wanted that i love you in ways i didn’t t…

i love breaking your heart. call me a sadist, i don’t particul… i’ll reel you back in like a trout…

my ma stuck that knife in me straight down to the hilt. she treated the knife like a nail, and treated her fist like a hammer… i pulled it out, bit by bit,

i’m sick of people telling me they… and then reach for the knife lodge… just to twist it. fuck you guys for that. fuck me for falling for it.

i let you watch me lose my goddamn… raging at the wallpaper and crying… i let you listen to the burning an… and the pop of a pill bottle openi… i let you feel the screaming apolo…

i love you and isn’t that it? isn’t that a slur? to say i love you, when your father spilled that

i am beginning to blur at the edge… i’ve been becoming something of lo… i think i’ve wanted this storm lon… that it will wash me away with it.

“be thankful to god for bringing y… god had no part in what i became o… he was a callous bystander, a watc… he watched me cry and then drowned… god watched me start wars and lose…

like a knife to flesh. phantom pain. a faint scar, but it’s jagged. wishing you’d come back and try ag… so i could step right into the kni…