i wasn’t really my mothers child, i was her idea of a child. but, unforgivingly, i wasn’t. i grew up like kudzu; over the lam… i went so far as to grow over the…

i’m not entirely sure i’m alive, s… saying that makes me seem crazy or… maybe i am, maybe it matters, but i don’t really think it does. you have your hands on my thigh.

“i hope they don’t turn out like y… and yeah, i think, that’s about ri… i hope they don’t either.

i am far more childish than i ever allowed myself to be

i’ve got, “i miss you” carved over and over again on my sternum. skin raised and red, but it’ll dull down to a scar. just like the ones on your forearms that i saw when it was just you ...

you hurt me so much, but i never h… i just hated you for telling me it…

but i don’t think you were ever built to be a mother, and i never learned how to love you without it burning me from the inside out. i was raised to trust you through every betrayal and...

you tell me what to do and i lose… i swallow down the anger with a pi… i count to five watching the fire… before pressing it down on my thig… my friends keep getting worried,

i go from adoring to loathing at t… hi baby! oh, you forgot to do the… didn’t know you were a backstabbin… mistakes aren’t mistakes, that everyone makes.

i am beginning to blur at the edge… i’ve been becoming something of lo… i think i’ve wanted this storm lon… that it will wash me away with it.

i flick the lighter on, on, on off. a useless fidget, one that turns my thumb gray and r…

it’s ugly how time moves. how places that you used to fit in… the kitchen cabinets, the space between your closet shel… don’t fit you anymore.

when the ash settles down and you… wild and dancing, you see blackeni… you see the ending of it all and i… the way it dances and beckons you… the way you wish it would.

i’m sick of people telling me they… and then reach for the knife lodge… just to twist it. fuck you guys for that. fuck me for falling for it.

i love saying no, and watching men who are not accustomed to hearing… grow mad and confused. betrayed by the idea of me ruining… and not the other way around.