i am scared of you now, of this stranger who has taken you… those familiar eyes now watch me,… your loose hold now tight and the… this beast of grief has eaten you…

i don’t miss you as much as i thou… isn’t that terrible? aren’t i such… i told you, curling into myself, s… that i smell your clothes when i f… i refused to wash them or set them…

i love saying no, and watching men who are not accustomed to hearing… grow mad and confused. betrayed by the idea of me ruining… and not the other way around.

sit across from me, with no space in between. chest again chest, and our legs folded awkwardly. wrap your arms around my neck,

just puked up cookie batter; sending my love to illinois.

i gave you open front doors, swing… i left you out in my backyard with… it’s not my fault you stayed like… i screamed your name over a coal e… standing in the middle of the trai…

i have my mothers hands and her sh… i’ve got my dad’s jaw and his impa… i’m ten times as angry as my mothe… and twice as sad as my father is. here’s the thing, part one:

i’m tired of crying into my pages… with my mouth stuffed with blackbe… seeds spilling out and my tongue d… i want to lock myself up in the ba… to shatter the mirrors with shriek…

i love you and isn’t that it? isn’t that a slur? to say i love you, when your father spilled that

i like dogs that bark and girls wh… yelling boys and little kids under… trying to figure out what to call… and always picking out “bones” or… i love animals and lovers with sca…

staying alive is the most terrifyi…

i think i do my best to be good wh… it’s not shaped for my kind of rag… it has no place for sickness, and… i drown in it, i suffocate in it. paradise is not a hospice, but i a…

sometimes i wonder what god is. she’s the gentle hand and the draw… those flash floods and the never e… she lays the bricks and then turns… they tell me,

drunken stupor, apologies pouring… wish i were high but i can’t find… my parents don’t drink so i know a… here’s the thing: i’m not a good p… i yell and scream in my driveway t…

i’m spilling red wine on your whit… it’s on purpose, just so i can poi… look! we match ‘cause my white shit is already st…