Once on a time, so ancient poets s… There reigned in Godknowswhere a… So great a monarch ne’er before wa… He was a hero, even to his queen, In whose respect he held so high a…

How well this man unfolded to our… The world’s beliefs of Death and… This man whose own convictions non… Nor if his maze of reason had a cl… Dogmas he wrote for daily bread, b…

Of life’s elixir I had writ, when… (Pray Heaven it spared him who th… Settled upon my senses with so dee… A stupefaction that men thought me… The centuries stole by with noisel…

Death, are you well? I trust you… That’s painful or in any way annoy… No kidney trouble that may carry y… Or heart disease to keep you from… Your meals-and ours. 'T were very…

Great Joseph D. Redding-illustri… Considered a fish-horn the trumpet… That goddess was angry, and what d… Her trumpet she filled with a gall… And all through the Press, with a…

Once Moses (in Scripture the stor… Entreated the favor God’s face to… Compassion divine the petition den… Lest vision be blasted and body be… Yet this much, the Record informs…

Hasten, children, black and white Celebrate the yearly rite. Every pupil plant a tree: It will grow some day to be Big and strong enough to bear

God said, ‘Let there be Crime,’ a… Brought Satan, leading Stoneman b… 'Why, that’s Stupidity, not Crime… ‘Bring what I ordered.’ Satan wit… Replied, 'This is _one_ element-w…

Still as he climbed into the publi… His charms of person more apparent… Till the pleased world that watche… Saw nothing of him but his nether… Forgot his follies with his head’s…

They were two deaf mutes, and they… Resolved to be groom and bride; And they listened to nothing that… Nor ever a word replied. From wedlock when warned by the ma…

Listen to his wild romances: He advances foolish fancies, Each expounded as his 'view’ Gu. In his brain’s opacous clot, ah

As the poor ass that from his padd… Might sound abroad his field-compa… Recounting volubly their well-bred… Their port impressive and their we… Mistaking for the world’s assent t…

'The Social World’! O what a wor… Where full-grown men cut capers in… Cotillion, waltz, or what you will… And spin and hop and sprawl about… I wonder if our future Grant or S…

DRAMATIS PERSONAE. HAYSEED _a Granger_ NOZZLE _a Miner_ RINGDIVVY _a Statesman_ FEEGOBBLE _a Lawyer_

Alas for ambition’s possessor! Alas for the famous and proud! The Isle of Manhattan’s best dres… Is wearing a hand-me-down shroud. The world has forgotten his glory;