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All in a Family Way
My banks are all furnished with rags,
So thick, even Freddy can’t thin 'em;
I’ve torn up my old money—bags,
Having little or nought to put in 'em.
My tradesman are smashing by dozens,
But this is all nothing, they say;
For bankrupts, since Adam, are cousins,
So, it’s all in the family way.
My Debt not a penny takes from me,
As sages the matter explain; —
Bob owes it to Tom and then Tommy
Just owes it to Bob back again.
Since all have thus taken to owing,
There’s nobody left that can pay;
And this is the way to keep going, —
All quite in the family way.
My senators vote away millions,
To put in Prosperity’s budget;
And though it were billions or trillions,
The generous rogues wouldn’t grudge it.
‘Tis all but a family hop,
’Twas Pitt began dancing the hay;
Hands round! —why the deuce should we stop?
'Tis all in the family way.
My labourers used to eat mutton,
As any great man of the State does;
And now the poor devils are put on
Small rations of tea and potatoes.
But cheer up John, Sawney and Paddy,
The King is your father, they say;
So ev’n if you starve for your Daddy,
‘Tis all in the family way.
My rich manufacturers tumble,
My poor ones have nothing to chew;
And, even if themselves do not grumble,
Their stomachs undoubtedly do.
But coolly to fast en famille,
Is as good for the soul as to pray;
And famine itself is genteel,
When one starves in a family way.
I have found out a secret for Freddy,
A secret for next Budget day;
Though, perhaps he may know it already,
As he, too, ’s a sage in his way.
When next for the Treasury scene he
Announces “the Devil to pay”,
Let him write on the bills, “Nota bene,
'Tis all in the family way.”
