25
Twenty five
Afraid to live
Afraid to tempt fate
To want what others have–
How sinful of me
To yearn for a lovers kiss–
How pathetic
A wounded heart never tarries
Far beyond the comfort zone
I fear what I might become
I’m afraid of losing myself
If I submit to human nature–
To the carnal nature
Love stricken & confused
Tripping haphazardly
Over my thoughts & ambitions
Fearing the unknown
I dare not succumb
Lest I falter in pursuit of holiness
I dare not flirt with temptation
Lest I fall–
Entangled in a web of self service
Of self-gratification
To do what pleases
Is a sin I cannot voucher
Yet my nature pulls & claws
Never letting me sleep at night
Images of life
Full of privileges & accolades
Of praise & adoration
I cannot, yet I will
I shall resist yet persist–
In this struggle
Between want & desire
Between freedom & fire.
When I was in my mid twentys I was feeling lost. Not knowing what I wanted or who I wanted to become, so I took a pen & paper & wrote what I was feeling @ the time.
