That sick memory,this sick memory
A moment where i was in despair due my own actions, it represents regret,disappointment and disgust.
This sick memory,
that sick memory.
All of this dirt
Wash me clean.
I am filthy.
All I want is, to BE.
The ugly pictures
smiling back at me
making me seek for my breath,
while I drown in my tears,
Hide in shame.
Pray in pain.
That sick memory...
Fills me with disgust.
My eyes dye in the light.
As I close my eyes...
..Down tears roll,
trying to kill the memory,
the memory ages I know,
But does not go away
My prayer says:
“Numb my brain,
Numb my soul,
Numb my heart
Numb these memories...
..That stays untold”.
That sick memory...
Burdens my soul,
I Feed my soul now...
..With words so cold
beat myself up...
What do I have to uphold?
That sick memory took it all.
This sick memory...
...Please leave me at peace
...You already took so much from me...
...I want to get up...
...I want to be free.
I want to heal,
I want to be me,
I want nothing like this disgust that I feel.
Save me from my own guilt.
In love I will try to heal.
In hate I do not want to conceal.
Sick memory
that sick memory,
this sick memory,
Oh sick memory,
sickening,
sick memory,
Leave me, I want to be.
(2014)
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