It’s hard to picture life without you.
You engulf me in your misery and blood.
You try to make me end my life.
Yet, you are so familiar,
so comfortable.
I know the feelings that you force well.
You slash my forearms, and burn my shins.
I find no pain in this.
You cause the initial pain, then hurt me to help make it better.
It’s a strange cycle you make me go through,
sometimes I don’t quite understand.
Why did you choose to infest my body? To make me your home?
I was only a child. Less than ten years old.
You came to me.
Whispered disturbing things to me in my sleep.
Invaded my sweet dreams with sweet whispers of death.
A painless death.
I’m sixteen now,
and I’ve never stopped thinking about that first dream.
I dread my birthday every year.
It’s hard to picture my life without you.