Samantha Warner

The Plead

March 6, 2013

Who am I and where have I been?
Just trying to find a way out of this mindset I’m in.
Every word hits a nerve and I’m right back to starting over again.
Getting over you has made me think what’s the use?
But then I think man I must love you,
punishing my mind and using my weakness, you, as my excuse.
Never did I think I’d be caught up like this.
I even question if I should drop my pride and give it a try
knowing making a move will only make it worse.
Constantly waiting for God to say the word  but he stays quiet.
It makes me feel stupid for breaking my heart open
and leaving it bleed overflowing to every part of my body.
My soul is so alone and the one I long for I know is the only way to make it whole.
I don’t know God, I just don’t know.
Days like this never seem to go.
What I strive for I promise you I’ll die for
and if that ain’t enough then what am I alive for?
How am I supposed to love myself when I love someone else more?
That’s a part of who I am and to cover that up I’d have to resort to my heartlessness before.
Negativity is not me it is not apart of anybody
My dream is to believe that love will truly find me and when I feel it in the future,
I’ll see it.
But right now hard beats sound too good to me.
Only sound that can relate to my heartbeat
fighting off the anger that tries to build up inside me.
All I want is someone to love me and if that ain’t supposed to be
then God, I’ll never be free.
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