Said Jones: “I’m glad my wife’s n… Her intellect is second—rate. If she was witty she would never Give me a chance to scintillate; But cap my humorous endeavour

“I’m taking pen in hand this night… My poor old fingers tremble so, my… And even with my glasses on I’m t… You’d little know your mother, boy… You mind how brisk and bright I w…

I scanned two lines with some surm… As over Keats I chanced to pore: ‘And there I shut her wild, wild… With kisses four.’ Says I: ‘Why was it only four,

Perfection If I could practise what I preach… Of fellows there would few be fine… If I were true to what I teach My life would be a lot diviner.

Said Lenin’s ghost to Stalin’s gh… “Mate with me in the Tomb; Then day by day the rancid host May gaze upon our doom. A crystal casket we will share;

Why need we newer arms invent, Poor peoples to destroy? With what we have let’s be content And perfect their employ. With weapons that may millions kil…

Clemenceau His frown brought terror to his fo… But now in twilight of his days The pure perfection of a rose Can kindle rapture in his gaze.

Mumsie and Dad are raven dark And I am lily blonde. ‘Tis strange,’ I once heard nurse… ‘You do not correspond.’ And yet they claim me as their own…

Pedlar’s coming down the street, Housewives beat a swift retreat. Don’t you answer to the bell; Heedless what she has to sell. Just discreetly go inside.

Ho! we were strong, we were swift,… Youth was a challenge, and Life w… All that was best in us gladly we… Sprang from the rally, and leapt f… Smiling is Love in a foam of Spri…

I’d hate to be centipede (of legs… For if new trousers I should need… The bill would come to such a lot… Or else I’d have to turn a Scot a… I’m jolly glad I haven’t got a ne…

Maids In May Three maids there were in meadow b… The eldest less then seven; Their eyes were dancing with delig… And innocent as Heaven.

To buy for school a copy—book I asked my Dad for two—pence; He gave it with a gentle look, Although he had but few pence. 'Twas then I proved myself a croo…

If fortune had not granted me To suck the Muse’s teats, I think I would have liked to be A sweeper of the streets; And city gutters glad to groom,

Oh, it’s pleasant sitting here, Seeing all the people pass; You beside your bock of beer, I behind my demi—tasse. Chatting of no matter what.