I had a little nut-tree, Nothing would it bear. I searched in all its branches, But not a nut was there. ‘Oh, little tree,’ I begged,

‘If you are old and have the shake… If all your bones are full of ache… If you can hardly walk at all, If living drives you up the wall, If you’re a grump and full of spit…

“My teacher wasn't half as nice as… His name was Mister Unsworth and… And when you didn't know a date he… And start to twist while you sat t… He'd twist and twist and twist you…

A woman who my mother knows Came in and took off all her cloth… Said I, not being very old, ‘By golly gosh, you must be cold!’ ‘No, no!’ she cried. 'Indeed I’m…

I guess you think you know this st… You don’t. The real one’s much mo… The phoney one, the one you know, Was cooked up years and years ago, And made to sound all soft and sap…

The most important thing we’ve lea… So far as children are concerned, Is never, NEVER, NEVER let Them near your television set— Or better still, just don’t instal…

As I was going to St Ives I met a man with seven wives Said he, 'I think it’s much more… Than getting stuck with only one.’

In England once there lived a big And wonderfully clever pig. To everybody it was plain That Piggy had a massive brain. He worked out sums inside his head…

There’s no earthly way of knowing Which direction they are going! There’s no knowing where they’re r… Or which way they river’s flowing! Not a speck of light is showing,

Hey diddle diddle We’re all on the fiddle And never get up until noon. We only take cash Which we carefully stash

Gooses, geeses I want my geese to lay gold eggs f… At least a hundred a day And by the way I want a feast

‘Dear friends, we surely all agree There’s almost nothing worse to se… Than some repulsive little bum Who’s always chewing chewing gum. (It’s very near as bad as those

‘Veruca Salt, the little brute, Has just gone down the garbage chu… (And as we very rightly thought That in a case like this we ought To see the thing completely throug…

Mary, Mary, quite contrary How does your garden grow? ‘I live with my brat in a high-ris… So how in the world would I know.…

The animal I really dig, Above all others is the pig. Pigs are noble. Pigs are clever, Pigs are courteous. However, Now and then, to break this rule,