Why
To an absent father.
Why don’t you want me.
Why weren’t you interested.
Why did I waste my time on you.
Why did I think you could ever change.
Why have I wasted so many tears over you.
Why did I keep coming back.
Why did I keep letting you back in.
I was a little kid.
I didn’t know better.
To me you were daddy.
You were a super hero.
You were perfect.
You were the best person in the world to me.
Why would you let that image be ruined.
Why did you ruin it for me.
Why can’t I have a daddy.
Why can’t I be a daddy’s girl.
I’ll never have my father walk me down the aisle.
Never get my father daughter dance.
Never be a daddy’s girl.
Never be able to love you again.
Never be able to talk highly about my kids’ grandpa.
I’ll always be ashamed.
I’ll never be proud of you.
I’ll never be happy when talking about you.
Why did you have to be so despicable.
Why couldn’t you change.
For your first child.
Or your second.
Or your third.
Or me.
You’re last.
You’re youngest.
You’re last daughter.
Why.
Why did you choose the drugs.
Why did you choose the booze.
Why did you choose the parties.
Why didn’t you choose us.
Why COULDN’T you choose us.
For the life of me I will never understand.
Because I gave up everything.
Solely for my son.
I’m drunk with love for him.
I’m high on his wonderful life.
I party in my mind when he tells me he loves me.
I did have a dad.
I called her mom.
Before that I called her mommy.
I asked why you never saw me.
She always made an excuse for you.
You were working.
You were moving.
You didn’t have time.
You didn’t have the money.
You didn’t care.
She did.
I used to.
Now you’ll never know your grandson.
I’ll never want you here.
I don’t know if I’ll even go to your funeral.
How can you be satisfied with your life.
One child dead because of you.
One child in prison.
And then us two.
Who want nothing to do with you.
You’re pathetic.
But that’s ok.
Because I do have a dad.
And I call her mom.
(2014)
I was up late one night and needed to vent my true feelings about him because I can't with anybody. So this came out. The dead aughter is true, she died of a heroin overdose at 22. He is a major heroin/cocaine/meth addict plus raging alcoholic.
