Affection is a noble quality; It leads to generosity and jollity… But it also leads to breach of pro… If you go around lavishing it on r…

Behold the hippopotamus! We laugh at how he looks to us, And yet in moments dank and grim, I wonder how we look to him. Peace, peace, thou hippopotamus!

A child need not be very clever To learn that “Later, dear” means…

Celery, raw Develops the jaw, But celery, stewed, Is more quietly chewed.

There was a young belle of Natche… Whose garments were always in patc… When comment arose On the state of her clothes, She drawled, When Ah itchez, Ah…

May I join you in the doghouse, R… I wish to retire till the party’s… Since three o’clock I’ve done my… To entertain each tiny guest; My conscience now I’ve left behin…

May I join you in the doghouse, R… I wish to retire till the party’s… Since three o’clock I’ve done my… To entertain each tiny guest. My… And if they want me, let them find…

One would be in less danger From the wiles of a stranger If one’s own kin and kith Were more fun to be with.

He who is ridden by a conscience Worries about a lot of nonscience; He without benefit of scruples His fun and income soon quadruples…

In January everything freezes. We have two children. Both are sh… This is our January rule: One girl in bed, and one in school… In February the blizzard whirls.

The ant has made himself illustrio… Through constant industry industri… So what? Would you be calm and placid, If you were full of formic acid?

In spite of her sniffle, Isabel’s chiffle. Some girls with a sniffle Would be weepy and tiffle; They would look awful,

They tell me that euphoria is the… well, today I feel euphorian, Today I have the agility of a Gre… Victorian. Yes, today I may even go forth wi…