Throwin' Out a Paper Towel
New mouse traps? Forgeddaboudit! They can’t hold a candle
to the paper-towel-dispenser fabricators.
“Better models, here today!”—the tag line they employ,
with the hygiene-purchasing adjudicators.
Tried and true, the old-school towels, manipulation simple:
you just grabbed it by the bottom, pulled, and had one.
Happy users, most of us, unless the thing was empty,
but, apparently, “each barrel had its bad one.”
Thieving apples, peering round, took more than their fair share;
had no money, had ten children, maybe lazy.
Counting out those extra beans to buy the extra bundles,
buying agents and suppliers just went crazy.
Model B just blows out warm air, free of thief abuse;
almost won the world, but sadly, works like doodoo.
Model C, the endless towel, was better at its job—
also spreading germs; so, more supplier voodoo:
“Model D—it’s such a wonder; if you buy this gadget,
we’ll throw in some towels for free, with service extra.”
Model D gave way to E; supplier wars were on!
Every time you turn around, a change to vex ya’.
“How’s this puppy work? Can’t even see the stupid towel!”
“You just wave your hands in front—or is it bottom?”
Getting at a paper towel becomes new automation.
Service fees become a nightmare; that’s what got 'em.
See the newest model? I’m not sure I grasp the concept.
There’s the roll, and there’s the end, but how’s it work, now?
Suppose one could just grab and pull, but really, that’s too simple.
I don’t want to be an old-school-fossil jerk, now.
