James Laughlin

Swapping Minds

(for Vanessa)

Melissa and I were sitting  
by the little lake in Green  
Park in London playing  
“swapping minds.” It’s an
old game that came down from  
the Lowlands. It was a fine  
day so we had brought  
a little picnic. Melissa  
makes wonderful pâté, as
good as anything from Fortnum  
& Masson. Yummy. And we had  
a half bottle of Chardonnay  
between us.
 
Here is how the game of  
“swapping minds” goes. It’s  
not a child’s game, it’s  
very intellectual, or should  
I say psychological. Just  
imagine Melissa and I are  
talking. She says something  
to me, “James why are you  
always so arrogant?” But,  
obviously that’s not what  
she is thinking. To answer  
her I must try to imagine  
what she was thinking when  
she asked that. I must swap  
minds with her.
I ventured the following:  
“Melissa, you have the most
lovely white skin in England,  
you must be careful  
not to get sunburned.
 
Melissa: “James, why do you  
pretend you are Scots when  
you’re really of Irish descent?”
 
James: “Melissa, are you  
remembering the handsome  
Russian boy you met in the  
Hermitage on your trip to  
Russia and he took you to have  
an ice cream with him?”
 
Melissa: “James, did the
other boys in school tease  
you because you were so bad  
at games?”
 
James: “Do you really love  
me or are you just flirting?”
 
Melissa: “I’m sorry, James,  
but the response is in your  
mind, not in mine.”
 
That was the end of the  
“swapping game” for that  
day, and such a happy day  
it was, there in Green Park,  
watching the ducks on the  
pond.
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