“After all these years”  
You say you don’t love me anymore.
Your reaction’s towards me when you say and do the things to me is your way of proving this to me, it’s as if I’m standing between you and where you wish to be.  
I see it in the way you answer me  when I ask you who and why.
Even when I say the words. I love you, all you do is ignore me and say the things that hurt the most.
I see it in your eyes when you have that look. That look that says you just don’t care, and you wish i could just say goodbye. When you say the things I fear and hate, its as if you don’t care how painful it is for me to know there’s someone else.

After all these years.  
This I lost and long for the most.
All I’ve ever known.
All I’ve ever believed in.
All I’ve held so high in pride.
All I’ve loved and protected.
All those soft kisses and loving hugs, holding hands and loving words of chester when you simply say in front of others how much I meant to you.

After all these years.
Now I know you’ve shared your love and have given your full attention to someone you’ve been with before.
I know this, cause that day I found his message that he had wrote to you, surely he must have said it all when he wrote that letter just for you. .
Saying!!! How much he even loves you. That day he sent you a message or two.
I’m sure you remember your messages to him too, after he sent you that message that was meant for you.
Saying!!! Thank you for everything you do for him, and how he wanted to jump off a mountain and shout out your name and how much he loves you  That day he sent you those messages address to you .
I’m sure you remember when he said this all to you.    
Saying!!! How much you had meant to him. That’s the day he wrote it down in a letter to you. Makes me wonder how did you get that letter from him and what must of happened when you spent all those hours with him, or is this something you thought I did not know. I know all this is true because times you sent me messages, mistakenly calling me... Baby, Baby bekkie, Manlief. Babe. All these words that were actually meant for someone else, but just not meant for me.
Today you refuse to admit just how much of this is true and how you hurt not only me, but this family to.
I’m sure you remember that day I broke in two, that day I read his letter he had given to you, even all those messages I found on your phone to. I’m sure you remember that letter you stuck behind your phone with a message from him saying just how much he loved you, and you calling him Manlief, and him calling you Vroulief to.  
Still you blame me for simply loving you, for looking for help from others, praying that all this was just not true, hoping that all this would be one long nightmare I had dreamt would never be of you.

After all these years.  
Looking back Its hard to believe you just don’t care anymore and how you’ve pushed me aside as if I were dirt, showing me that after all these years I meant nothing to you. I’m sure you can remember all those guys you spoke to, on Mix it, Face Book, BB, even on Watsup to.
Or is it just that you still try and look for reasons to justify all those guys you had told. You Loved them to.    
 
After all these years.
You can’t stand me anymore this I’ve noticed in the way you look or talk to me.  
You’ve even once before wished I’d be no more.
This I see in the way you reject me when I try my best to show you just how much I’m still in love with you.
You blame me for sharing with others what you’ve done, but you’ve shared so much more with others, you may say what you want even do as you please without regret or any feelings of guilt, you tried to take the past and justify the things you’ve done and so reluctantly blame me for everything, or is this also not true to you.

After all these years.  
You blame me for all that’s lost.
You blame me for all that’s happened.
You blame me for seeking help from strangers, or a friend.  
When you know I was lonely, scared and feeling insecure.  When I needed you the most where were you?
When you said you were with your best friend or someone you know or knew?
You blame me for simply being just me, and loving you.
After working so hard for this family, and coming home to simply wanting to relax and watch my favoured sport on tv, even this you used against me to justify the things you’ve done to me.
I know I’ve also not been the best and have made mistakes in life, but nothing I’ve done can be justified in the way you’ve treated me or even the things you have done.
           
After all these years.
Still you just could not notice that its because of the things you did that broke me, even all those times I forgave you.
I hide behind my tears as I see how my world crumbles before me. I’m sure you knew what you really meant to me, and even what I tried to do for you. When in fact all I tried is to give you all that I had, all that I am. “Just ME and MY LOVE I have for YOU”
 
After all these years.  
How easy you’ve forgotten all the times I’ve forgiven you, so why can’t you see what you’ve done to me even when I simply just put my arms around you to hold you, you always find some reason to push me away from you.
I’m sure you recall those days, I lost my mind crying out, and going into shock. How could you do this to me, to us and this your family.    
How easy you’ve forgotten the passion we once shared just between you and me.
All those times we tried to do things differently.
Those times you left me feeling breathless, wonderful, shaking at my knees begging you’d never stop loving me.
How easy you’ve forgotten the things we often did together. Even those days you said you loved only me, or was that just something you felt you had to say to me.
Surely in your hart you’ll recall those days you held my hand
Why can’t you remember the way it used to be, or is it because you just have no more time and love for me.

After all these years.
All I have fought for.
All that I had
All that I am.
All I have given.
All I have done.
All I have loved about you.
All I have believed in even my deepest feelings for you from within.    
Your beauty and sexy feminine form still drives me crazy when I realize I can’t keep it all in.  
As all I can think of is your soft sweet lush lips as they tenderly melted with mine, those days you used to kiss me I still remember way back when.      
When at times you looked at me and smiled I swear it must have been your love shining from within, as I notice your bright beautiful glowing eyes smiling back at me.
I swear my head would spin just like those days you walked the stage, I swear even the Judges were surprised by what they saw.

After all these years.
I see it in the way you look at me.
I see it in the way you secretly send messages to someone you don’t ever want me to know or even see as you cover and hide  your phone when talking all day long not even looking at me. And when one of us come close your reactions I can see how obvious it all must be to me.
Tell me this is not true, or is it just another case of no one should know but only you and whoever you see.
I’ve wondered so many times who it could be, yet still you say these words that brake me so easily
“its got nothing to do with me”
“At least you have a life not me”.   “Where you going, who you see, has got nothing to do with me”
“You and I are just friends with advantages.
All these words are proof that there is just no more me.
I see it in the way you treat me, its as if I’m in your way and how you wished I would just go away, even now I bet its what you might feel and not even a single thought of how all this is killing me.
Believe me it won’t be long and I’ll be gone if you just tell me is this what you truly want from me.
At times I feel maybe I should just stay away and pray that one day you’ll need me as much as I needed you.
 
After all these years.
I wish I could have trusted you when you said there’s no one else but me.
I wish I could have believed you when you promised me it would not happen again and there’s no one else but me.
I wish I could hold you the way I always used to, or even do the things he might do for you.  
I wish I could give you what your heart desires, or is this something he has promised to you.
I wish I could provide you with everything I promised you, and didn’t have to allow you to suffer with me as you so frequently complained to me. Still you don’t see how I’m trying to make you happier than me.  
I wish I could do the things I always wanted for you, and never allow you to live so miserably.  
I wish I could show you just how much I still truly love and appreciate you, even if its the smallest thing you might do for me.
I wish I could be the one who holds you.  
I wish I could be the one you dream of too.
I wish I could be the one you think of when I’m not with you, but I guess there’s just someone else you keep thinking of.  
I wish I could be the one you
run to.
I wish I could be the one you
cry to.
Or simply hear you say I still love you.                
Dam Girl I wish I could show you just how deeply I still need you.

After all these years.
This love I feel for you.  
This love I have for only you.
This love that’s meant for only you.
This love that fills all your senses
Love that makes you feel all so complete like the first day I met you.
I still remember how I jumped for joy and swore you were the most beautiful of all the Angels Heaven had ever sent.  
It was then I knew my love for you would always be true, that’s why I gave them all up just for you.
 
After all these years.
Love that brought me contentment, Peace, hope and joy. How do you say goodbye to the other half of you, when you know my love for you is true and belongs to only you?

After all these years.
When you find a love so beautiful as you. So pure. So sexy, and smart as you.  
One that awakens all your dreams
One that brought me life, every day I wake and look at you.  
One that makes you feel carefree strong and healthy and leaves you feeling great full to.  
How do you find the strength
To simply let all this be, and still say these words.  
”there’s no you and me"
“we are just friends”
So many times I’ve prayed crying out loud these words I prayed for you.
“O Lord. Please help bring her back to me, I still love her Lord so deeply. Why Lord can’t you see I promise this is true.  
O’ Lord I’ll keep her safe and give her all my love so tenderly. So all I ask is...
O’ Lord is for you to hear my plea. O’ Lord make her see that she is meant for only me, and all I’ve  ever wanted is for her to be with only me”

After all these years.  
All those weekends you left me standing at that gate as I waved goodbye crying out please don’t go, as you drove away I prayed to God to bring you safe back home to me.
Not knowing where you’ll truly be. How could you leave me crying and still wave goodbye back at me.

After all these years.
Its you I’ve ever loved.
Its you I’ll ever need.
Its you I’ve long to be with and say I love you all so lovingly.  
Its you I love to spoil just the way you always wanted it to be, or can’t you remember this to be true.

After all these years.
I’m still begging you don’t let me go and not to keep hurting me.
You of all people will know there’s a part of me that will not let go if you should ever leave me this you and I both know this would mean the end of me.

After all these years.
I’ve tried so hard.  
I’ve fought so long.  
I’ve cried so much.
I’ve prayed to God for all so long, asking where It is that I belong.  
All I’ve wanted to do is to love you, to protect and hold you, to have and to hold until death do us part. These words I pray the Lord will provide.  
Why you’ve changed so much its plain to see.
You’ve been places and met people I’ve always wondered who they must be yet still you say I’ve  never given you your freedom.
Know I blame myself for trusting you, that weekend I set you free to visit those who you’ve know chosen over me.    
Is this the reason why you want to leave me, or is he just better than me in every way than me.  
So if you hate me.
So if you leave me and take what’s left of me.
You might just as well berry me and say that’s what you wanted all along of me.
 
After all these years.
I Still long to touch and treat you, just the way you deserve to be, but know I’m afraid I’ll just chase you further away from me.  
When at times It feels as if you wished it wasn’t me.  
So if after all these years.
You still feel you can’t love me.
You still want to hurt me.
You still feel nothing when you look at me, or my feelings towards you just don’t matter anymore.
You still want to throw my love away, know that there’s nothing left for me, and I might just as well not be.
So please if there is any way for you to let me know if you still want me please don’t keep me waiting longer than I’ve already been.  
It hurts to know I don’t belong after sharing my life with you for so long.
It hurts to long for your Love and to know its not mine to long for  anymore.
After all these years what went wrong.
Lord my God I pray not to allow this nightmare to go on, and take me should I no longer belong.

“Bye my Angel Face I hope you found what who and where you belong.”  
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“After all these years”