My Last Trophy Wife
With apologies to Robert Browning
My Last Trophy-Wife
(Apologies to Robert Browning)
That photo of my ex there on the wall
Is one I took before we split last fall.
Yeah, people always ask me how I got
That starry, sexy look with just one shot.
Well, maybe she had overheard somewhere
That Redford was in town, or thought of stares
Of horny clerks who rushed to give her aid
In stores, and watched her butt as she sashayed
Around. Why, just a whistle from a car
Produced that gleam — but not my shooting par
Last weekend —that did less to stimulate
Her smiles than hearing Oprah lost some weight.
She showed her thanks —I’m trying to be fair —
But showed as much for gays who did her hair —
And even less for all the bucks I’d made.
So then I chose to stop the whole charade.
It’s true I could have tried to make her see,
But trying, see, would be demeaning me.
Well, I am sure that you attorneys know
Your client signed pre-nuptials long ago.
So have a pleasant day —but look up there:
That photo’s Bush and me at last year’s fair.
(2003)
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