Franklin Pierce Adams

A Poor Excuse, But Our Own

(Why don’t you ever write any child poetry?
—A MOTHER.)
 
My right-hand neighbour hath a child,
 A pretty child of five or six,
Not more than other children wild,
 Nor fuller than the rest of tricks–
At five he rises, shine or rain,
And noisily plays 'fire’ or ‘train.’
 
Likewise a girl, _aetatis_ eight,
 He hath. Each morning, as a rule,
Proudly my neighbour will relate
 How bright Mathilda is at school.
My ardour, less than half of mild,
Bids me to comment, ‘Wondrous child!’
 
All through the vernal afternoon
 My other neighbour’s children skate
A wild Bacchantic rigadoon
 On rollers; nor does it abate
Till dark; and then his babies cry
What time I fain would versify.
 
Did I but set myself to sing
 A children’s song, I’d stand revealed
A bard that did the infant thing
 As well as Riley or 'Gene Field.
I could write famous Children Stuff,
If they’d keep quiet long enough.
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