Unknown
You aren’t going to be NOTHING
Your sister looks better than YOU
Your feet are ugly
Your ears are too big
Your skin is so black
Your just UGLY
Your stupid
Your dumb
You didn’t graduate
You don’t have this
You don’t have that
These are the words that echo through my head as I try to move forward in life and tear down these walls that I built so firm around my heart.
Why did half of these words leave my love ones lips? Why did they treat me this way? What did I do to deserve this?
Why do I have cancer?
Why didn’t my child live?
Why did every boyfriend I had CHEAT on me….was all these things true that left my loved ones lips?
Why did I lose one boyfriend only for him to go to my little sister and end up thrusting against her hips just because I won’t giving up mine? Why did she love him…knowing I use to date him…this is some real television bullshit …I COULDN’T HAVE REALLY HAPPENED TO ME… yet I wake up and the voices that left my loved ones lips are still ringing in my head… some days I do wish that my SUICIDE attempt would have been completed and I would be DEAD!
NOW I am left to figure out how to vacuum up this hurt and pain so I can truly love ME, and truly live free. You never know how crushed you are until you BREAK DOWN and cry… use to being everyone’s tissue paper…BUT HELL, WHO THE FUCK WILL WIPE MY EYES???
I’M PARANOID… I’M TRIPPING… I’VE BEEN THINKING WHILE SIPPING….. and MAN OL MAN am I tired of FAKING it….
Who will cry do ME?
Who will carry ME?
Who will tell me they love ME?
Who will wait for ME?
Because I am tired … idk what else to do… now what if I have found this love and won’t be able to enjoy it because DEATH WILL take me?
Yes I get scared but my pride and MASK won’t allow me to show it…but Weak WEAK I AM…I NEED SOMEONE TO HOLD ME….
:(
(2014)
