Behind the door
Drop by drop,
tick by tick,
here it comes,
can’t keep it in.
And i lass out,
but you lied to me,
and its ruined now,
no cuddles again for me.
And i don’t want to fight you,
broken i may be,
and i dont like i love you,
yet you’ll soon hate me.
And i drag myself from the corner of the bed,
to the tiny little tiled bathroom instead.
And i sit on the floor crying back pressed up against the door,
inside im dying, i get a housecoat* rope and i’m tying.
I hear you get out of bed, you slam a door.
I tie off the end and pull it over the rail by the door.
And i’m so broken.... soon im choking.
Even when my vision gets blurred and i fall i cant hear you come.
On the floor i wake back up, the rope has broken and i’v blacked out.
I untie it standing check my face in the mirror its red and blothed.
I get some cool water and some tissue covering it all up.
I walk to the sitting room and tell you i’m sorry.
I ask you back to bed, explain and you just nod and say “i know you told me your story”
you get into bed.. cover me up... like its all in my head
my chest still burning i’ll wait until you pass out.
Soon it’ll really happen, soon it’ll be over now.
(2013)
Metaphoric poem about killing yourself i.e hanging ones self out to dry in a relationship. I always find out how people can be so strong to some people and really there smile and fun-ness is really just a face. AT the end of the day people dunno what happens behind closed doors.... sometimes not even the people closes to us. Housecoat* its a very irish word for dressing gown basically.
#Death #Hurt #PainRomance #Suicide
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