By Stanley Collymore
Oh please Daily Mail! Distinctly,
because Joan Collins is plainly
one of those risibly basically
pretend celebrities very self-servingly
and attention seeking, simply in view
of her self-evidently 40 plus years, of
unquestionably irrelevance, happily
jumped on your simply fatuous and
literally noxious vitriolically abusive
campaign targeted against Meghan
Markle, but which doesn’t give any
credence to what she actually said
then; undeniably, suddenly makes
this distinctively, undoubtedly old
cow, unquestionably, significantly
important and ludicrously too, an
ageless legend! Even Joan really,
has effectively admitted although
reluctantly so, to quite numerous
procedures to simply counter her
aging process, which I effectively
relatively to these procedures do
quite wholeheartedly personally
agree to as her undeniable right!
But other than that, let’s simply be
perfectly honest about this white
British trolop, who has clearly
spent lots of her time in the USA. So
I shall call it like it obviously is folks.
Joan Collins was undeniably, really
one of those slags that popularised
the terminology, discernibly known
in global terms as a casting couch,
since she quite literally really slept
with practically everyone, that she
could and who was very willing to
obviously have her; aspirationally
hoping, that such vile promiscuity
on her part, would really advance
her so-called acting career! But in
actuality, Joan Collins really can’t
now and, characteristically really,
quite sensibly then, obviously act
her way very convincingly, out of
the usually proverbial paper bag!
And very frankly is obviously
getting accolades now from
comics like the Daily Mail
and discernibly, other bone-headed
idiots because of her advanced age.
And I’ll state unchallengeably, that
when Joan Collins, quite evidently
and simply permanently, crucially
kicks the proverbial bucket if she
is actually effectively ever buried
there are unquestionably several
parts of her which literally clearly
and simply just won’t ever decay.
(C) Stanley V. Collymore
17 January 2024.