Charles Bukowski

My First Affair With That Older Woman

when I look back now
 
at the abuse I took from
 
her
 
I feel shame that I was so
 
innocent,
 
but I must say
 
she did match me drink for
 
drink,
 
and I realized that her life
 
her feelings for things
 
had been ruined
 
along the way
 
and that I was no mare than a
 
temporary
 
companion;
 
she was ten years older
 
and mortally hurt by the past
 
and the present;
 
she treated me badly:
 
desertion, other
 
men;
 
she brought me immense
 
pain,
 
continually;
 
s he lied, stole;
 
there was desertion,
 
other men,
 
yet we had our moments; and
 
our little soap opera ended
 
with her in a coma
 
in the hospital,
 
and I sat at her bed
 
for hours
 
talking to her,
 
and then she opened her eyes
 
and saw me:
 
“I knew it would be you,”
 
she said.
 
then hse closed her
 
eyes.
 
 
the next day she was
 
dead.
 
 
I drank alone
 
for two years
 
after that.
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