Deseos

From the first time I can remember having these feelings towards you ever since that eventfull day when both of our lifes changed for what seemed at the time a negative twist turned out to be a blessing in disguise, would you agree? i would belying if i told you that en ese momento i did not start to fall in love with you believe me when I tell you that,   pero en that brief time  we spent together the emotions that where shared las lagrimas que me ensenastes,  yo mire una persona tan ermosa adentro de ti tan fragile como yo, buscando ese amor that as of then i thought i would never find, i believe that  what i saw inside of you was true raw honest emotions. and there after all was said and done was the scared little girl who was ready for a change in her life, a step in a new direction, one thing for sure is that your life forever changed that night, my life forever changed that night, para mi yo me enamore  de ti. Do you remember how i was going to tell you Que. es lo que yo  pensava cuando te mirave ....pues en esos besos de esa noche every time i look in your eyes i can still remember the soft tender way your lips felt, the warmth of your face the salt from your tears. I will remember that night siempre always, how i wish you would the same.

There was something in the stars maybe it was faith but something wanted us to be together that night. I know it you know it. something made you want to wait for me, even after i was still late working, I thought you would have left but you waited a chance  encounter i realized that was a day that forever changed both of our life’s, I remember that day  from the morning full of laughs to a hot afternoon where one question  asked set us on a whole new path, you have awakened a dormant desire  within myself  that feeling of unconditional friendship, a person out there who feels like i do, who cries like i do, and deep inside longs for that cheesy story book romance, silly as it may seem its a desire we dream of a connection we share. like myself you mask emotions the same way  i do, you opened your soul and invited me in to share in your pains you held deep within, you’ve lived to fast, to hard and to soon, your light was dimming  and fading away, i hope you could see the pain you where in but you  know it best you are the one who lived through the pain and carried that shame you kept locked inside eating away at your very existence, settling for less then what you should  be accepting,,.. I hope that one day I can find that key that unlocks your heart. to share para siempre nobody knows one thing i know is i love your freindship, i love most is our talks  and those quite moments i see in your eyes there something inside that i know deep inside you feel for me to you try to hide your emotions, but i see in your eyes they do not lie, i know what love is  and I use that word because I mean it I know what it is I felt It that night and everyday since you know  your the reason im feeling  you awakend something inside me something i hadn’t felt since high school, you know you remember “ butterflies”  my stomach filled with nerves and excitement, to anxiousness followed by feelings of sadness and joy............

Dedicated to My Lovely wife Maria Mendoza still together after 12 marvelous years.

Written by: Benjamin Mendoza
Circa: 11- 20- 1996