Vanish.
Tiptoeing on a rooftop admiring the stars, wishing to become one.
Sadness is the most comfortable feeling I’ve ever known.
I always say I’m going to leave this earth any time soon,
and when I say it I mean it.
The swollen eyes, the hot showers, the blades, and the pills.
The playlists I’ve made trying to explain how I feel.
If one day I’m not here, I’ve lived more than anticipated.
And to all my loved ones, you know how arduous I struggle.
Credible my place is somewhere, probably in the sky,
where I can get rid of every nasty thought that won’t let me breathe.
Don’t feel bad for me, is something I’ve wished for years.
I’m only able to catch glimpses of happiness, but I can’t keep them.
They do not belong to me.
Every single sparkling memory I keep in my heart,
but you can’t relieve them or replay them like a record.
Sometimes they vanish from your head and all I can do is wrap myself in the commodity of melancholy.
I’ve laughed and loved. I’ve met incredible persons in this world.
But deep down, they know I was always meant to vanish.
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