Saint Peter at the gate of Heaven… The tools and terrors of his awful… The key, the frown as pitiless as… That slays intending trespassers a… And, at his side in easy reach, th…

O Buddha, had you but foreknown The vices of your priesthood It would have made you twist and m… As any wounded beast would. You would have damned the entire l…

O hoary sculptor, stay thy hand: I fain would view the lettered sto… What carvest thou?-perchance some… And solemn fancy all thine own. For oft to know the fitting word

Judge Shafter, you’re an aged man… And learned too, I doubt not, in… And a head white with many a winte… (I wish, however that your heart w… Claims reverence and honor; but th…

The Church’s compass, if you plea… Has two or three (or more) degrees Of variation; And many a soul has gone to grief On this or that or t’other reef

In Congress once great Mowther sh… Debating weighty matters; Now into an asylum thrown, He vacuously chatters. If in that legislative hall

When Admonition’s hand essays Our greed to curse, Its lifted finger oft displays Our missing purse.

‘Let John P. Irish rise!’ the ed… As when Creation into being spran… Nature, not clearly understanding,… To make a bird that on the air cou… But naught could baffle the creati…

A reporter he was, and he wrote, w… “The grave was covered as thick as… With floral tributes”—which readin… The editor man he said, he did so: “For 'floral tributes’ he’s got fo…

O bear me, gods, to some enchanted… Where woman’s tears can antidote h…

When Dr. Bill Bartlett stepped o… Of Mammon’s distracting and weari… To stand and deliver a lecture on… Conditions of Intellectual Life,’ I cursed the offender who gave him…

Posterity with all its eyes Will come and view him where he li… Then, turning from the scene away With a concerted shrug, will say: 'H’m, Scarabaeus Sisyphus

I dreamed one night that Stephen… And for admission up at Heaven ap… ‘Who are you?’ asked St. Peter.… ‘Jeems Pipes, of Pipesville.’ Pe… Opened the gates and said: 'I’m g…

The King of Scotland, years and y… Convened his courtiers in a gallan… And thus addressed them: 'Gentle sirs, from you Abundant counsel I have had, and…

There was a cranky Governor His name it wasn’t Waterman. For office he was hotter than The love of any lover, nor Was Boruck’s threat of aiding him