I will not wash my face; I will not brush my hair; I “pig” around the place— There’s nobody to care. Nothing but rock and tree;

My Master is a man of might With manners like a hog; He makes me slave from morn to nig… And treats me like a dog. He thinks there’s nothing on this…

I never kill a fly because I think that what we have of laws To regulate and civilize Our daily life —we owe to flies. Apropos, I’ll tell you of Choo, t…

I never saw a face so bright With brilliant blood and joy, As was the grinning mug last night Of Dick, our local boy, When with a clumsy, lucky clout

You’ve heard of Violet de Vere, s… Whose sitting—base out—faired the… Well, she was haled before the Be… Which signifies araisin’ Cain, an… So there she stood before the Cou…

With peace and rest And wisdom sage, Ripeness is best Of every age. With hands that fold

Now Fireman Flynn met Hank the F… “Let’s leave,” says he, “the lousy… I’m fed up to the molar mark with… I feel the bloody barnacles a—cark… Let’s hit the hard—boiled North a…

I looked down on a daisied lawn To where a host of tiny eyes Of snow and gold from velvet shone And made me think of starry skies. I looked up to the vasty night

I wonder ‘oo and wot ’e was, That 'Un I got so slick. I couldn’t see ‘is face because The night was ’ideous thick. I just made out among the black

Day after day behold me plying My pen within an office drear; The dullest dog, till homeward hie… Then lo! I reign a king of cheer. A throne have I of padded leather…

I’ve often wondered why Old chaps who choose to die In evil passes, Before themselves they slay, Invariably they

Oh Julie Claire was very fair, Yet generous as well, And many a lad of metal had A saucy tale to tell Of sultry squeeze beneath the tree…

You may talk o’ your lutes and you… Your harps and your tabors and cym… But here in the trenches jist gie… The wee penny whistle o’ Sandy M… Oh, it’s: “Sandy, ma lad, will yo…

Son put a poser up to me That made me scratch my head: “God made the whole wide world,” q… “That’s right, my boy,” I said. Said son: “He mad the mountains s…

God gave you guts: don’t let Him… Brace up, be worthy of His giving… The road’s a rut, the sky’s a frow… I know you’re plumb fed up with li… Fate birches you, and wry the rod…