“Let’s make him a sailor,” said F… “And he will adventure the sea.” “A soldier,” said Mother, “is rat… What I would prefer him to be.” “A lawyer,” said Father, “would p…

To rest my fagged brain now and th… When wearied of my proper labors, I lay aside my lagging pen And get to thinking on my neighbor… For, oh, around my garret den

Through eyelet holes I watched th… Rain of confetti fling; Their joy is lush, their laughter… For Carnival is King. Behind his chariot I pace

They say that Monte Carlo is A sunny place for shady people; But I’m not in the gambling biz, And sober as a parish steeple. so though this paradisal spot

Pedlar’s coming down the street, Housewives beat a swift retreat. Don’t you answer to the bell; Heedless what she has to sell. Just discreetly go inside.

Aye, Montecelli, that’s the name. You may have heard of him perhaps. Yet though he never savoured fame, Of those impressionistic chaps, Monet and Manet and Renoir

Clemenceau His frown brought terror to his fo… But now in twilight of his days The pure perfection of a rose Can kindle rapture in his gaze.

A—sittin’ in the Bull and Pump With double gins to keep us cheery Says she to me, says Polly Crump" “What makes ye look so sweet. me d… As if ye’d gotten back yer youth .…

For failure I was well equipped And should have come to grief, By atavism grimly gripped, A fool beyond belief. But lo! the Lord was good to me,

It’s mighty quiet in the house Since Mary Ellen quit me cold; I’ve swept the hearth and fed the… That’s getting fat and overbold. I’ve bought a pig’s foot for the p…

I strolled up old Bonanza, where… A—purpose to revisit the old claim… I kept thinking mighty sadly of th… And the lads who once were with me… Poor boys, they’re down—and—outers…

I bought a cuckoo clock And glad was I To hear its tick and tock, Its dulcet cry. But Jones, whose wife is young

My Muse is simple,—yet it’s nice To think you don’t need to think t… On words I write. I reckon I’ve a common touch And if you say I cuss too much

Little Annabelle to please, (Lacking grace, I grant), Grandpa down on hands and knees Plays the elephant. Annabelle shrieks with delight,

A pote is sure a goofy guy; He ain’t got guts like you or I To tell the score; He ain’t goy gumption 'nuff to kno… The game of life’s to get the doug…