Dear Mr. Jones.
The poem that you sent us was absolutely wonderful. When everyone at the office read it, they said it was the most amazing poem they had ever read. When I get home, I can’t wait to show it to my husband. He has ties with the people at Columbia University and could give your poem to the selection committee for the Pulitzer Prize. Would you want to be picked up by limousine at your home and be driven into New York City in case you were selected? People of all ages should have the opportunity to read it, due to its content that is so full of wisdom and beautiful prose.
Where did you learn how to write so beautifully? Let me know so I can send my son Gabriel there. If you would be interested in tutoring him, I could send him to you. Off hand, what are your tutoring rates? I would pay you anything. Money is no object. Maybe someday you could come to New York and sit around the office and chat with us. We could learn so much from you. We would like to take a picture of you and us standing around the office and chatting. Then you could autograph it for us. That would surely be an honor. Then we could say, “We were the first ones that recognized the talent that Norman Jones has. Since we were the first, our publishing company would go down in history and become the most famous ever.”
You are probably the best writer of the century.
As far as the poem goes; I’m so sorry, but we’re going to have to pass on it. It isn’t quite what we are looking for. Good luck in placing it somewhere else.
The Poetry Center
N.Y.C.
Sonia Riteclif
Senior Editor