Befuddlement Machines
“Hello. You have reached the office of Yuk Yuk Medical Supplies. Please listen to the following options. If you called in regard to a hydraulic slide softener, please press 1. If you wish to make multiple hydraulic slide softener orders, press 2. If you wish one of the items was a different color, press 3. If you like the color but not its shade, press 2 and then 3 again. If that color clashes with the previous color, press 4. Then press 5 if you want it changed. Then press 2 at the same time to cancel out number 3. If you want to cancel out the one you chose, press 6. If number 2 clashes with number 5, press 7. If you follow these simple instructions, your order will be on its way to you right away." said the befuddlement machine.
“But I just called to speak to my friend Leo down there. Can I speak to him or anyone else?” asked the befuddled caller.
“Hello,” said the machine, “You have reached the office of Yuk Yuk Medical Supplies. Please listen to the following options. If you called in regard to– -– - ” (yadi yada and some more of that same yadi yada again, the whole shmear again, that friggin bull crap again, over and over that $(%@(%!)!”
“What happened to all the people down there at Yuk Yuk Medical Supplies? Did they fade away?” thought he. "Did that befuddlement machine put the hex on them? Did it send them flying up through space or something? I’m going down there and throw that friggin thing in the lake, that &($%^@!^&$ thing!”
And so he went down there and threw it in the lake, and all the people came back to work again.
I hate those friggin answering machines. They get you so confused, you want to just hang up and forget about it.
