Tobacco Next
They took away your drink from you,
The kind old humanizing glass;
Soon they will take tobacco too,
And next they’ll take our demi-tasse.
Don’t say, ‘The bill will never pass,’
Nor this my warning word disdain;
You said it once, you silly ass—
Don’t make the same mistake again.
We know them now, the bloodless crew,
We know them all too well, alas!
There’s nothing that they wouldn’t do
To make the world a Bible class;
Though against bottled beer or Bass
I search the sacred text in vain
To find a whisper—by the Mass!
Don’t make the same mistake again.
Beware these legislators blue,
Pouring their moral poison-gas
On all the joys our fathers knew;
The very flowers in the grass
Are safe no more, and, lad and lass,
‘Ware the old birch-rod and the cane!
Here comes our modern Hudibras!—
Don’t make the same mistake again.
ENVOI
Prince, vanished is the rail of brass,
So mark me well and my refrain—
Tobacco next! you silly ass,
Don’t make the same mistake again.
