Charles Bukowski

A day or so later I got a poem in the mail from Lydia. It was a long poem and it began:

Come out, old troll, Come out of your dark hole, old troll, Come out into the sunlight with us and Let us put daisies in your hair . . .

The poem went on to tell me how good it would feel to dance in the fields with female fawn creatures who would bring me joy and true knowledge. I put the letter in a dresser drawer.

I was awakened the next morning by a knocking on the glass panes of my front door. It was 10:30 am. “Go away,” I said.

“It’s Lydia.”

“All right. Wait a minute.”

I put on a shirt and some pants and opened the door. Then I ran to the bathroom and vomited. I tried to brush my teeth but only vomited again—the sweetness of the toothpaste turned my stomach. I came out.

“You’re sick,” Lydia said. “Do you want me to leave?” “Oh no, I’m all right. I always wake up like this.”

Lydia looked good. The light came through the curtains and shone on her. She had an orange in her hand and was tossing it into the air. The orange spun through the sunlit morning.

“I can’t stay,” she said, “but I want to ask you something.” “Sure.”

“I’m a sculptress. I want to sculpt your head.”

“All right.”

“You’ll have to come to my place. I don’t have a studio. We’ll have to do it at my place. That won’t make you nervous, will it?”

“No.”

I wrote down her address, and instructions how to get there.

“Try to show up by eleven in the morning. The kids come home from school in mid-afternoon and it’s distracting.”

“I’ll be there at eleven,” I told her.

I sat across from Lydia in her breakfast nook. Between us was a large mound of clay. She began asking questions.

“Are your parents still alive?”

“No.”

“You like L.A.?”

“It’s my favorite city.”

“Why do you write about women the way you do?”

“Like what?”

“You know.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Well, I think it’s a damned shame that a man who writes as well as you do just doesn’t know anything about women.”

I didn’t answer.

“Damn it! What did Lisa do with . . .?” She began searching the room. “Oh, little girls who run off with their mother’s tools!”

Lydia found another one. “I’ll make this one do. Hold still now, relax but hold still.”
I was facing her. She worked at the mound of clay with a wooden tool tipped with a loop of wire. She waved the tool at me over the mound of clay. I watched her. Her eyes looked at me.

They were large, dark brown. Even her bad eye, the one that didn’t quite match the other, looked good. I looked back. Lydia worked. Time passed. I was in a trance. Then she said, “How about a break? Care for a beer?”

“Fine. Yes.”

When she got up to go to the refrigerator I followed her. She got the bottle out and closed the door. As she turned I grabbed her around the waist and pulled her to me. I put my mouth and body against hers. She held the beer bottle out at arm’s length with one hand. I kissed her. I kissed her again. Lydia pushed me away.

“All right,” she said, “enough. We have work to do.”

We sat back down and I drank my beer while Lydia smoked a cigarette, the clay between us. Then the doorbell rang. Lydia got up. A fat woman stood there with frantic, pleading eyes.

“This is my sister, Glendoline.” “Hi.”

Glendoline pulled up a chair and started talking. She could talk. If she was a sphinx she could have talked, if she was a stone she could have talked. I wondered when she’d get tired and leave. Even after I stopped listening it was like being battered with tiny pingpong balls. Glendoline had no concept of time or any idea that she
might be intruding. She talked on and on.

“Listen,” I said finally, “when are you going to leave?”

Then a sister act began. They began talking to each other. They were both standing up, waving their arms at each other. The voices pitched higher. They threatened each other with physical harm. At last—near the world’s end—Glendoline did a gigantic twist of torso and flung herself out of the doorway through the large flapbang of the screen door and was gone—but still heard, ignited and bemoaning—down to her apartment in the back of the court.

Lydia and I walked back to the breakfast nook and sat down. She picked up her sculptor’s tool. Her eyes looked into mine.

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