Joe Marflak

A Head Off The Wall

another caffeinated week and
I’m stuck wandering in my dreams again
feeling so damn beat
yet all I can do is smile
whats going out of style
I’m not breathing over a television
because I’m not living in denial
take a picture,
pictures of things you’ll never regret,
come under the twilight
where you and I might
find the set
to where the sun’s light
and the night first met.
wishes were made on a fallen star,
ankles at waters edge,
watching reflections dance ensemble
lit only by silky shimmers of moonlight
That seeped through the scenes of a quiet night’s overcast

I love this poem its so real, the only thing as contrictive critisism k have is watch where you put the commas and start new lines in stanzas to make it flow a bit more pretty much wherever you have a coma then make what comes after a new line that can sometimes help the flow also the and in the first two lines is unneeded unless you like it haha im a newbie at this and this is a beautiful poem so watch the flow is all i would say

Thankyou very much, I will do some editing and look to better my poems to come

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