Testosterone
An ode in anapestic tetrameter
When it comes to a war or driving a car
I do both to some stirring ovations;
In fights I’m a scuffler and my car has no muffler
So I’m ready for all provocations,
For it’s very well known that testosterone
Will triumph in all situations.
I don’t need a brain or even cocaine
To win any chick’s adulation;
I’m like garbage to flies when babes once surmise
My fitness for insemination,
For it’s very well known that testosterone
Will triumph in all situations.
My neck is quite red and I’d rather be dead
Than miss one of Limbaugh’s orations;
That we lost any battle is just idle prattle
Put forth in the news fabrications,
For it’s very well know that testosterone
Will triumph in all situations.
I belch and I fart and I’m not vey smart
About mores among other nations;
But that doesn’t matter —my gun’s vicious chatter
Quickly stifles the need for a long explanation,
For it’s very well know that testosterone
Will triumph in all situations.
While I have my gun Ill will not cut and run
Or show for a death a regret,
I’ll keep up the fight for what Charleton thought right
Till they take from my hand my limp rod cold and wet,
For it’s very well known that testosterone
Will triumph in all situations.
Our military is strong, we’ll never be wrong
When we sneer at the left’s trepidations;
As our flag is unfurled we’ll conquer the world
Though our IQ most show limitations,
For it’s very well know that testosterone
Will triumph in all situations.
And should I admit that Bush is a twit
Who’s caused many deaths in two nations,
I’d still let him plan an attack on Iran,
And give him a heartfelt ovation,
For it’s very well known that testosterone
Will triumph in all situations
(2012)
#RhymeAnapetic