A drunk on the subway tells another drunk something a bartender told him. He says if the rich guy wins, it will be the first time

A woman was seated next to me as we waited for the debate to sta… The candidates were late taking th… She said she shouldn’t have come because she couldn’t vote for eith…

In 1920 he came on a boat from Ireland and found his way through Ellis Island. He found a room in a boarding house

She was just an old lady who lived next door. I’d wave and smile and give a nice hello but nothing more.

In my all-boys school sixty years ago there were two boys who were different. All four years they walked to classes together, books

“If you don’t like the gun, my dea… I can exchange it for a negligee b… I’ve given you many negligees. I think a gun’s important to have around the house

Fred jerks back in his recliner as his wife puts him on the spot and asks his opinion about a dress she bought on sale at a fancy place for a great price…

A homeless man hangs himself from a tree at night in the city to close out the year. At dawn a passerby uses

The older I get the more I realiz… the importance of getting things d… before your mother announces anoth… assignment to roust me from my ham… As you know I’ve never been much

Every day the same play. The moment I rise, the first act begins, the same plot

My wife’s amazed when I station myself at the computer writing this or that despite a hound dog

Sheep are by a goat while cattle are like swine, prodded, ye… cattle go by hammer while swine are by the hind leg hung then swung about to spigot.

It started with a smirk she managed to arrest. It returned seconds later in a sneer she pulled back but then it appeared again

Father the chameleon was lime gree… the first day I saw him peering in… my crib smiling and he remained lime green until kindergarten when a nun called the house and sa…