Dreamless Night
Survivor (after putting up the strong sided poem about abuse i thought a weaker sided one would be suitable)
As I lie in my bed at night,
I can not sleep as I would in fright,
As the moon shines so bright,
I no there are creatures leering here tonight.
As I steer in to the dark,
I see the moons silver sparks,
I see the light,
Oh so bright,
Sparkling here tonight.
But as I drift away,
I hear them closer coming for me,
And as I try to hide away,
I no they’ll take my soul,
Yet here I stay.
As I close my eyes tonight,
As I hear there voices I hide in fright,
I’m there simple toy tonight.
Close my eyes and turn away,
As they come out to play.
Drift away like in my lullaby!
A simple tear is all I cry!
As the blood flows red!
Inside I’m dead!
Dream away…
Those times I played…
Dream away…
Those childhood games…
Cry away…
My life… it’s ok.
As I dream of horror stories, in blood flowing red,
Of these dreams in my head,
I close my eyes,
As I hear,
I’m the princess in this place,
I’m the princess in death,
I’m the one…
The one finally put to rest…
By those monster’s once so obsessed…
So close my eyes and let me cry…
Cause after you’re done,
All I can do is die!
(2008)
I all ready mention in my poem Aren't these your balls? how i was sexually assaulted by an ex. While that poem was how he may have used me i didnt mind being used as i would come out stronger and how i would get over it but he'd always be in debted to me. This poem is the other side of that story. Its how i was after it happened how i was torn between thinking i was strong and weak, (i couldn't sleep most nights i'd just sit crying) and how i really just wanted to disappear off the earth. It also shows how from there on i wasnt some child i was an adult (oddly at this time many of my friends didnt work i did and they called me mamma as i would normally lend out money or buy things for my friends who couldnt afford them)
#Abuse #Assault #Fear #Hurt #Pain #PastRape