Destiny and Its Stone
By: Ezekiel Gonzales
It’s an endless destiny set it stone
Skipping those stones
I’ll choose for myself—I will choose for myself, if not for me then for you
I don’t want to shy away but
the spotlight burns my face
This, this is my choice; let my plastic face melt or mold back in to place
Pointless
The way that you stare
it raises my neck hairs
The look in your eyes
was it something I said?
Falling for the wrong crowd or was it the wrong time
What a blur;
learning my A, B, C’s and 1,2,3's
following the latest trends and changing face
speeding down the highway at age fifteen
next, the first family drop-out
How did I find myself here?
I don’t know what I lack
Awareness? Feeling? Strength? Brains?
Never knowing what you’re missing changes a person
But
Watching you live in the spotlight, I know I want some of that too
Don’t let yourself go down that path
My heart won’t be able to handle that kind of pain
Holding hands as we run through fields,
watching the cheesy rom-coms on late nights
winning the big prize at amusement parks,
through soaked shirts, we danced in the cold rain
Tell me, when did you know to follow your own way?
I put myself on display for you
Letting the plastic shape my body, morph itself in to what it wanted me to be
But I was still able to call the shots when things got tough
I cracked that plastic like a dog toy
You noticed,
whether you would admit to it or not
Don’t break it for me
Finding you among the busy streets is easy to do
Even after all this time, you look just as beautiful as the day we met
I could call your name,
Walk up to you and introduce myself
Something strangers would do
We’re not strangers— hadn’t been for what was an eternity
yet, I can’t muster up the courage to even utter your name
I want to go back
If only for a moment, for a single minute
Just to be able to see you smile at me
I wonder if this Destiny
Watching as they raise their weapons in preparation
I don’t take the time to question if it will hurt, how long it will take for me to die
With my face pressed against the ground
I let myself smile
the smooth, pristine and polished podium,
made from the finest of granite—
reflects my dirtied face
I wish I could see you
The gray sidewalk is endless when you look at it
I don’t find it in myself to care as I see it
Gripping the wheel as traffic comes to a halt,
turning the power off once the clock hits nine
handing the couple their overpriced bear,
drying my shirt in the wash, the harsh rain pounds on my door
Questioning myself, when did I see things my own way?
Choosing for myself— I chose for you
Didn’t know, didn’t realize what this— living— meant for you
Staying in our molds was wonderful, wasn’t it?
Staying strangers
Staying unknown to each other
I don’t want to remember anything
But, I find myself seeing you everywhere;
seeing you when I don’t want to, didn’t want to
Kicking stray rocks
I follow the clouds, taking care to shield my eyes from the sun
Silent
That’s all my mind has been; silent
Something obstructs my view yet
I can’t find much interest in finding out what
Stumbling over the curb
my face catches the side-walk
colliding hard against the smooth, pristine and polished ground,
made from the finest of granite
My reflection smiles back at me
