I walked into the counselor’s office. It was Eddie Beaver sitting behind the desk. The clerks called him “Skinny Beaver.” He had a pointed head, pointed nose, pointed chin. He was all points. And out for them too.

“Sit down, Chinaski.”

Beaver had some papers in his hand. He read them.

“Chinaski, it took you 28 minutes to throw a 23 minute tray.”

“Oh, knock off the bullshit. I’m tired.” “What?”

“I said, knock off the bullshit! Let me sign the paper and go back. I don’t want to hear it all.”

“I’m here to counsel you, Chinaski!”

I sighed. “O.K., go ahead. Let’s hear it.”

“We have a production schedule to meet, Chinaski.”

“Yeh.”

“And when you fall behind on production that means that somebody else is going to stick your mail for you. That means overtime.”

“You mean / am responsible for those 3 and one half hours overtime they call almost every night?”

“Look, you took 28 minutes on a 23 minute tray. That’s all there is to it.”

“You know better. Each tray is 2 feet long. Some trays have 3, even 4 times as many letters than others. The clerks grab I what they call the 'fat’ trays. I don’t bother. Somebody has to stick with the tough mail. Yet all you guys know is that each tray is two feet long and that it must be stuck in 23 minutes. But we’re not sticking trays in those cases, we’re sticking letters.”

“No, no, this thing has been time-tested!”

“Maybe it has. I doubt it. But if you’re going to time a man, don’t judge him on one tray. Even Babe Ruth struck out now and then. Judge a man on ten trays, or a night’s work. You guys just use this thing to hang anybody who gets in your craw.”

“All right, you’ve had your say, Chinaski. Now, I’m telling YOU: you stuck a 28 minute tray. We go by that. NOW, if you are caught on another slow tray you will be due for ADVANCED COUNSELING!”

“All right, just let me ask you one question?”

“All right.”

“Suppose I get an easy tray. Once in a while I do. Sometimes I finish a tray in 5 minutes or in 8 minutes. Let’s say I stick a tray in 8 minutes. According to the time-tested standard I have saved the post office 15 minutes. Now can I take these 15 minutes and go down to the cafeteria, have a slice of pie with ice cream, watch t.v. and come back?”

“NO! YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO GRAB A TRAY IMMEDIATELY AND START STICKING MAIL!”

I signed a paper saying that I had been counseled. Then Skinny Beaver signed my travel form, wrote the time on it and sent me back to my stool to stick more mail.