I remember my mothers words before the first day of school in 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 5th grade. “it will be ok. This is a new year. Just be yourself” but back then I didn't have a self, No personality at all. and somewhere along the time that I started to get one, the phrase “just be yourself” started to die and what came as a replacement was “don't be this” “don't be like that” “don't wear this” “suck in your stomach like that” and so I began to write poetry.
I remember my mothers words before the first day of school in 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 5th grade. “it will be ok. This is a new year. Just be yourself” but back then I didn't have a self, No personality at all. and somewhere along the time that I started to get one, the phrase “just be yourself” started to die and what came as a replacement was “don't be this” “don't be like that” “don't wear this” “suck in your stomach like that” and so I began to write poetry.
i you she not like crazy but your what he with they more can when dare know away heart make way never just love there different who up back mind being called miles from people then feel because if ve could day every where all down cry head had ill now one too see wrong something things sick over normal about story would tell windows into ones death wanted go even always here time choice some take been adjective direction after them their own sorry found world won everything grabbed knife blade came heels lost out loved until realize street dark under fly closed kind already dream come mine lets pain try myself give anymore used eyes how care only right saw look fear than say mentally each mother corner looked beautiful word minds illness small going girl enough live aren hated made year ready still sun end hopes rain place alone want seem makes will morning especially thinks attention illusion friend homeless man black call well child truth feelings broken fall show hate same trying find through smaller floor farther getting favorite real hurt bad fade went scream song true get around watch harder far stay blind everyday fact really believe life leave sore safe fair face race hear fake break lived fucks deranged manifested wild aggressive roller coaster other drops storm drip color shade ignored young behave pinned expected step takes classmates drugs sits pushed everyone including himself choices fault poverty anyone choose chose simply beauty woman separated rest whether praise hatred thing ugly wanting use women boy followed dreams told succeed decided prove worth finally did accomplished goal clapped amazing inspiring touch does exist living goes matter applicable decide cleaning permanent selves exhausting appealing separating labeling sticker think twice said born hurting anybody judge title consider yourself doing creating path separate negative connotations concepts ideas any hard finding liked boys got along trouble staying focused awareness possessed cure push heard sea places why least managed excuses reason shaking apologies mistake choosing addiction oxygen less demanding trembling problems romanticize holes indiscriminate nature lithium waking feeling truly accept role making lament tolerance dislike anything requires cause miss admit loud scary unalterably heavy diagnosed worst enemy god perfect fairytale bleed million quicker long answer developed unkind predisposition items toxic goddamn nirvana understands intricately ordinary recreating verses screen constant state recreation reborn tremble wake reference poems shouldn write today trust ripped alright ok glad part dies watched hole land set hates monsters bed games mess flew comes falling happiness linoleum roses hung window chosen hide sorrow protect tomorrow may crave arms cold urge warm hold lips wilder depressed night sleep listen music draw handle hollow emptiness soul lay usually breathe again wait painful caring become attached random acquaintance wishing undivided longing days plagued false circumstances which despite illusions lovers whom better themselves bare feet pavement glitter glass siren somewhat distant sleeps gas except ours alive twinkling rainbow light shower white house turquoise mark vines crawl walls run church across convenience store bells familiar sound laundromat wash sheets ever known home pause happy couple nothing fingers intertwined play nails dug flesh threats ear playful whispe rewind inescapable blackmail rings hair fast forward streaked tears body vandalized mute fallen thick blanket settles forever stop game maybe blame stick nonexistent glory spare two speak freak promise stare wouldn wonder secret locked room chained numb words painless blows hypocritical critical inch father wear stronger nightmare most depths moment remember knew creaks floorboards sing envelope heat enclose melt worlds together restrain free persists bigger fists closer higher grow turn held rope worn thread holding close breaking bind unnoticed losing focus wish yours virtual existence given received torn okay bow succeeded cheated revealed concealed should aware weren felt trace smile tear voice kill fuck