I keep trying to explain the pain in my heart. But I think I’m too far gone to comprehend what’s going on in my head. I just wanna go to bed. But my thoughts keep me up at night and all I feel in my head is dread and anxiety and stress and gosh I’m so depressed. But that’s all I know. Is how to feel depressed. And stressed. There’s always stress. And my room is a mess. My parents say clean and I say “I can’t. I’m also a mess.” And they take my phone and I say bet. Because I don’t know how to fix my head. I’m a mess. Help. The word I never say. Because maybe someone already knows that I need it. Or maybe someone will one day. I think I’m now going to go cry. Oh but I can’t because I’m also numb. And that might sound dumb but it’s true. Depression can make me feel numb and like nothing is going on inside my brain. I wanna go ride a train. This is a lot. So I’m gonna stop. And I hope I don’t cut. Don’t wanna see blood. Not one puddle. Not a. single. drop.