If the wicked gods were willing (Pray it never may be true!) That a universal chilling Should ensue Of the sentiment of loving,

Scene-_A lawyer’s dreadful den. Enter stall-fed citizen. LAWYER.-'Mornin’. How-de-do? CITIZEN.-Sir, same to you. Called as counsel to retain you

I dreamed one night that Stephen… And for admission up at Heaven ap… ‘Who are you?’ asked St. Peter.… ‘Jeems Pipes, of Pipesville.’ Pe… Opened the gates and said: 'I’m g…

It was a solemn rite as e’er Was seen by mortal man. The celebrants, the people there, Were all Republican. There Estee bent his grizzled hea…

Running for Senator with clumsy p… He stooped so low, to win at least… That Fortune, tempted by a mark s… Sprang in an kicked him to the win…

_The Superintendent of an Almshou… SUPERINTENDENT: So _you’re_ unthankful-you’ll not… You sit about the place all day an… I understand you’ll not attend the…

The Devil one day, coming up from… All grimy with perspiration, Applied to St. Peter and begged h… Him a moment for consultation. The Saint showed him in where the…

To flatter your way to the goad of… O plausible Mr. Perkins, You’ll need ten tons of the softes… And butter a thousand firkins. The soap you could put to a better…

Baffled he stands upon the track The automatic switches clack. Where’er he turns his solemn eyes The interlocking signals rise. The trains, before his visage pale…

God said: ‘Let there be Man,’ and… Adam came forth and, thoughtful, w… The matrix whence his body was obt… An empty, man-shaped cavity, remai… All unregarded from that early tim…

To him in whom the love of Nature… Imperfectly supplanted the desire And dread necessity of food, your… Fair Oakland, is a terror. Over a… Your sunny level, from Tamaletown

Sir Impycu Lackland, from over th… Has led to the altar Miss Bloatie… The wedding took place at the Chu… The fashion, the rank and the weal… No person was absent of all whom o…

Now Lonergan appears upon the boa… And Truth and Error sheathe their… No more in wordy warfare to engage… The commentators bow before the st… And bookworms, militant for ages p…

OM JONESMITH _(loquitur)_: I… The night-a rather clever thing to… How soundly women sleep _(looks at… They’re all alike. The sweetest t… Is woman when she lies with folded…

‘If life were not worth having,’ s… ‘T would have in suicide one pleas… ‘An error,’ said the pessimist, 'y… What’s not worth having cannot be…